I don’t know anybody who looks forward to a difficult conversation. If anything, we tend to avoid them.
Without knowing about thought work, we would likely indulge in overwhelm and worry about the way we will feel or the way the other person will feel.
With thought work, we have the advantage of getting our mindset right to help us transform difficult conversations into successful conversations.
We can do that by asking yourself the following questions:
What is my reason for having this conversation? If you’re coming from a space of trying to get the other person to do something so you can feel better, you’re not ready. To be ready, you need to come from a space of doing the best job you can to meet the goals of your organization.
What is the outcome that you want for YOU? Consider how you want to walk away from the difficult conversation thinking and feeling about yourself. For example, do you want the outcome for you to be that you were angry and off putting or do you want the outcome for you to be that you were calm and clear?
Which emotions will fuel me in a way that serve me? Being irritated, angry, or worried likely won’t help. Figure out what you need to think to create feelings like certainty, focus, or compassion which will serve you better.
Approaching the conversation from your best self with a solid why and clarity improves your chances for a productive outcome. It allows you to approach the conversation with openness and that puts the other person in a less defensive position.
So much more likely to have a successful conversation.